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DID YOU KNOW: it is possible to garner national media attention by writing a response to a sorority recruitment video?

DID YOU KNOW: it is possible to write a response to a sorority recruitment video?

DID YOU KNOW: there are sorority recruitment videos?


Me neither! So read on!


This image depicts just one of the horrific "whirlwind of girl-on-girl piggyback rides" metioned by Bailey.

“It’s a parade of white girls and blonde hair dye, coordinated clothing, bikinis and daisy dukes, glitter and kisses, bouncing bodies, euphoric hand-holding and hugging, gratuitous booty shots, and matching aviator sunglasses.” Yes! The outrage! This quote comes from a well thought out and quite necessary article written by A.L. Bailey in response to a recruitment video released by Alpha Phi at the University of Alabama. Bailey zeroed in on this video after being appalled by its appeal to “beauty, sexuality” and lack of “any mention of core ideals or service.” And it’s a good thing she arrived when she did – this media outlet purports an entire generation of girls was about to be brainwashed by this horrific piece of sorority propaganda! See, what Bailey was essentially getting at in her piece is that these girls are selling themselves short. They are treading on all the good progress made in the feminist movement and reverting to a primeval time when women are only valued for their bodies and men lust after them like dogs. They are throwing their bodies around like they are meaningless inanimate objects! Like they are “commodities” to be sold! Yes! These girls are telling a generation of young women that it is ok to be less! As Bailey says, “Sororities are known for being pretty and flirty; they aren’t bastions of feminist ideologies. But perhaps they shouldn’t completely sabotage them either.”


This media outlet would like to further the point, to pick up where Bailey left off so to speak. DID YOU KNOW: by being pretty a girl is illegible to be a bastion of feminist ideology? It’s a fact! Clearly when this young woman picked out her genes some time before birth she had made a deal with the devil already! “Hey, Lucifer, if you give me blonde hair, a symmetrical face, and a curved body I will prostitute myself out to your cause!” This media outlet even has a recording of one such conversation (to be released later!). Clearly a young woman who is attractive and aware of it and dares to show off her body can’t contribute to the advancement of women and their being treated as equals across the board of society and culture! No! And God forbid if she’s flirty. How dare her! Bashing the feminist ideology all in one fell swoop! This media outlet purports that the logical conclusion to Bailey’s assertions is that these young women ugly themselves up a good bit, perhaps paint on unibrows (not that I am prejudice against unibrows!), and cover their bodies like certain hardline religious practices command. It only seems reasonable! And as for flirtation – nay! A young woman should never flirt or show interest in another human being she may be interested in. How dare her trounce the feminist ideology! How dare her even allude to selling her body out to “hormonal college-aged guys”! You may at this point be thinking ‘Wait – isn’t she a hormonal college-aged girl? What if she wants to share her body with a hormonal college-age guy of her choosing?’ No! No! You’ve missed Bailey’s point! See, Bailey has an image in her mind of what a feminist movement should look like, and if you don’t fit that image, then there’s no room for you! You’re dead weight! Get out! Die! Jump on a sword! And then with all of the attractive bimbos gone (shout out to Trump!), with the burning of all that satanic “coordinated clothing”, with the destruction of those horrific “bikinis” and that “hugging”, with the annihilation of those straight from hell itself “matching aviator sunglasses”, then maybe, just maybe we can get on with the advancement of women! Maybe then, all you girls out there, and especially you sorority girls, maybe then at last you can achieve your lifelong meaning and be “the kind of thing Bailey never wants her young daughters to see or emulate!”


Now, in all seriousness, what the honest fuck. A.L. Bailey, congratulations, this was one of the most absurd, unnecessary, and hypocritical pieces of writing I have come across in quite some time now – “’Bama sorority video worse for women than Donald Trump.” While I don’t have time today to get into the true blessing to Earth that Donald Trump is, I would like to close with asking a simple question: how is this video bad for women? How ignorant are you? If a girl feels good about her body and she wants to show it off, then she can show it off all she fucking wants to. If she wants to go flirt with one guy, or five guys, for seriousness or just for kicks, then she can. If she wants to make a video with her friends that is giddy and frolicky and shows them roaming around in bikinis, then she can. And then she can still walk into class or the office or the fucking Friendly’s around the corner and hold her head high. That’s the point. IT’S HER FUCKING CHOICE. Not yours, not society’s, and sure as hell not the parameters of your narrow-minded vision of what a feminist movement should look like. Because if we’re all really going to be treated equally one day, then it’s time to stop making sweeping generalizations across groups of people and start approaching each other like the individual human beings we all are. Person to person. Individual to individual. Everyday. And nothing else. THIS MEDIA OUTLET PURPORTS: Fuck this dumbass article.


You can find a link to Bailey's original article here:


and, similarly, a link to a load of shit, here: load of shit

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