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Return to Very Few Apologies

WOW well here we are!!! Some 5 and a half months later and I have a 401k!! (and add another half a year to finish the motherfucking commentary HA) Dreams do come true! Well my prophecy has come to fruition and I am utterly alone in this strange destitute land that is home. I've been alone for a while now which has been truly fabulous for making jokes with myself. Those surely featured here!

 

The summer was the beautfiul anticlimatic promised land. There were no obligations, no need to heed time's call, no need for discipline. And so there was none, wonderful double-edged sword that that is. But it was warm and flowing and life, particularly in retrospect as it always goes. It was the vague ok-ness that is being at home again after so long away, the strange mediocre moves from here to there that don't ever amount to anything but keep a half smile on the face. Beers on the beach. Solo beers on the beach in the wonderful sweltering sun. A swim and a cigarette and a thunderously dull contendness into the evening.

 

And then without warning, or maybe all the warning in the world but just unheeded, lightning struck, and here I am running headlong through the heaviest grind of my life, torn and down and still moving strangely slow and methodically all the while. The half smile remains, in some form, and the vague ok-ness has not disappated, even with the arrival of the long cold nights. But then I'm getting ahead of myself because that chapter is just beginning. This chapter is still just beginning.

 

ALMOST HALF A YEAR OF LIFE AND WHAT DO I HAVE TO SHOW!? 

 

Well, everything inside my head, and for the outside, this.... B SIDES & SIDE LIVES: A CONTINUATION OF THE DOWN AND UP 

 


A PRETTY SCENE AT THE BAY UP HIGH ON THE BRIDGE MAKING IT LOOK LIKE SOME FANTASTIC GETAWAY SURELY MORE THAN EIGHT MINUTES FROM YOUR HOUSE


humans constructing human things, quite an intriguing scene

NOTHING SCREAMS IT'S A MOTHAFUCKIN DAWN OF A DAY WITH NO OBLIGATIONS LOUDER

AW SHIT, queue the first trek to the glory land, NE NE NE NE BABY BEAUTIFUL TERRIBLE URBANIA
PHILLY SIDE STREET ALLEY CATS
ZOOM ZOOM ZINGA
MILKS AND HIS STEED

shortly before we met the real owner, a fascinating genetlman born and raised in Chincoteague, who broke his arm trying to ride one of the wild beasts as a young teen, but never lost his passion for equestrine, even once he moved to the beautiful seething mess that is Philadelphia, and there he stays with his trusted companion

 

PROGRESSIVE !!!!!!
              OIIII YEAH FUCK ME RIGHT ON UP THEN 

I missed the memo that everyone would be wearing black, quite literally everyone besides myself, but the gin had settled in already and I spent a nation's gdp on beerz, and that shifting mass of sound and light and color was but stop numero uno on our one night only tour, and you better believe we tore shit down thereafter. I couldn't even begin to retrace our steps if you put me on the ground in that city again, but the absurdity was potent and I was in a dark marauding mood and the city was quite good to us, even allowing me the courtesy of locating my debit card each of many times it was misplaced and I confronted the surrounding world like an enemy combatant on the battlefield live. Philly feels authentic and the grit and the sprawl and the hustle are oversaturated in the air and condensate down in a filthy wonderful dew in the wee hours of each morning, I can say this with confidence because I've seen it myself.

 

BACK TO THE BEACH

WHO DAT WHO DIS


a quick jaunt up the eastern shore, that forgotten peninsula of virginia

she's a sad cotton candy dream in the evening and I've felt a love come on so strong

OI ARNOLD WHAT THE FUCK U DOIN MATE YOURE A MADMAN

just do yourself a real favor and give this sly fox a quality listen

WE WERE SPEAKING ABOUT HOW THE PLACE CAN SEEM SO FAR AWAY EVEN WHEN IT'S HOME
otherwise forgotten scenes is what the b sides are all about. it's the random riffs and side notes that make up the bulk of our lives between the highlights, the strange way that memory can couple a vision with a mood and a mood with a state of being and allow one to lead to the other and back around until the whole thing may as well be fresh cooked there flying off the pan in the kitchen  EH

WATER WATER

FUCKIN EVERYWHERE
have you watched the beauty of a simple pleasure spill out right in front of you

 

WHADDUP WATEP WE OUT HERE 


A COUPLE OF OFFBEAT NIGHTS AT THE SAFE HAUS, the pleasureable ephinany of no obligation, an endless evening of not a goal in sight and no desire for one, just the simplest of happenings between decent television programs and other people's snacks, freezer goods cooked at 3am and an unquestioned flow of alcohol and related friends on the back patio between heavy summer rain squalls after the power outage and mass lighting of the candles, all wonderfully unnoticed by the blind dog Sadie and her unrelenting enthusiasm for those very simpler days

REPRESENTATIVE SITE PHOTO

routine can kill you, oddly slowly while it pushes the knife in fast, but routine isn't inherently evil, it's just the forced nature and displeasureable associates that so often come with it. take the stop at mix it up for the choice cut beers or premixed cool flowing grog with one of Patrick O'Brien's authentic seagoing tales under the sweltering sun by the seat of the dunes away from all the people, laid out knocked back down in the ambiance of the heat and liquid before letting the sharp crisp of the cold sea embrace your whole person body and mind entirely, then smile in the blue sky gold warm air and ride wave then wave then run like a chile then wave and flip and wave and float there, content - SHIT AIN'T BAD


AH what a fun new-fangled way to be mindless

WHERE THE FUCK IS VENASAUR

hmmmmmmmm

 


SELF V. SELF, WHO WILL PREVAIL, ONLY VICTORY WILL TELL

ain't no substitute for it.... She

OI MOTHAFUCKA YOU WANNA SQUARE UP I SEE YOU IN OR OUT THE WATER COME AT IT

SHIIIITTTTTT, GUYS, I BELIEVE I HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, HEAVENS NO

HA classic SFUS communicado reminiscent of a certain era in time!!!!! #RELATABLE #WOW #COOL
SIDE DISH OF OPIATES, WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT
OI O IT'S THE FUCKIN NEIGHBORHOOD GOONS HERE TO RUIN YOUR DAY AND OUTWIT YOUR WHOLE DAMN CREW YA MEASLY FUCKS, POUR US ANOTHA ONE

 circa 2016, copyright, all rights reserved, wow nice huh neat

slow roll roll on down slow, soft wave crash lap evening shore twilight, wash it all way, all the bad all the good and nothing left but nothingness, heavy but benign then


CHA BOIZ
up there with the cigs at the pier, beers downed courtesy of christian on the grill, ocean eddy's bustle ignored as the fryers sizzle distantly and the families and lone wrinkled old men fish, all the more determined as the sun dips and the sweetly discomforting periwinkle fuzz overtakes it all. and then down on the bay's side of town, except across the strip of land from the bay, the inlet, that peak of nautical spillage all around, the old fishing boats and the watermen and the whole trade without the psuedo-glamour attached to it, the place that doesn't question itself as it just is, and it is also beautiful in that way and in many other simple ways, in that the water nearly laps the floorboards beneath your feet and the closest growth is marsh grass on the small islands, and boats navigate through the narrow channel and sandbars with no hurry to pull up and eat and drink, and you're there with rum flowing and a warm eased rowdy atmosphere with salt and burning outboards in the air, the sun inevitably dipping into a ridiculous showing of orange then pink then purple atmospheric beauty, every damn day. 

BEEEEEESIDEEEEEEE
THE PLOT THICKENS MORE SO THAN EVER: BUT WHO WAS THE REAL CULPRIT ???????

FOCKIN LATE NIGHT SIMPLE PLEASURE NIRVANA

OH MY SWEET SWEET SUMMER TIME STP WHY HATH THOU FORSAKEN ME

HOMESTEAD YAY HOMESTEAD NAY 
FUCK ME UP

It's a strange thing to come back to the place you've spent your entire life just you're ending a whole multi-year state of being and entering into a whole new chapter of the thing. It's a time of rapidly shifting winds, something that is forecast to be unpredictable and hectic and quite possibly dangerous to steer through. But then just as you broach the front it all settles and goes calm and the wheel moves soft beneath your hands and the wind sighs tired and low and - it's anticlimatic, really. Here we are. 
DAYS DAZE DAYZ DAZE ON IT GOES
B-SYDE-BEE-SIGHED
READ EM AND WEEP, VICTORY IS NOT ASSURED BUT WILL BE HAD AND IT WILL LOOK LIKE:
THE MAN THE MYTH THE MASTER


THE MOST STANDARD SCENARIO, ANOTHER TRUE REPRESENTATIVE SITE PHOTO OF THE ERA FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, IRRELVANT NOW
AW SHEEIITTTT BACK UP THE COAST AGAIN MOTHAFUCKA
TXT 12 FOR DOUCHEBAG, 13 FOR OUTLANDISH CUNT

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM, PHILADELPHIA AGAIN, DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION

great day for transit with the President of the United States in town and the like
BUT TRANSIT WE DID GOIN GOIN BACK BACK TO NYCCCCCCCCC BABY WE AINT YAWNIN NOW


OH there's never enough photos taken during these glorious times of thrashing and running, and that's a shame, but then that's exactly how it should be.... SO 

 

BAGEL SHOP ABOVE, i will not call it a bodega no matter what the locale, and it is less symbolic than the matcha shop, a ridiculously hip locale but one that suited the mornings well, mornings being around noon time, with a walk through absofuckinlutely wonderful nolita into the pink wall palm treed decor place with beautiful beautiful girls on laptops making thousands of dollars running terrible terrible lifestyle blogs and vague human forms wearing supreme loud and proud and shifting through the always long line for that glorious bright green liquid. I'd order two or three drinks at a time and i'm not one to overblow a simple dose of caffiene BUT GOTDAMN there's a buzz, and with a hydrocodone in the rain in the city on that patio as the people moved and the absurdity struck and the day was free - YES, i will always take a dose of that memory.

 

HMMMMM this was our first encounter with the city in the summer, and it did not disappoint. she was a lover, or not, but a temptress, and we found ourselves overtaken as always but settling in quite nicely. THERE WAS

 

eating gourmet mac and cheese on a stoop watching the world go by, the hustle and the bustle and the people across the street with white cloth napkins and sparkling wines losing their smiles as they saw the freedom that was us in the grunge and the sweet love of the streetside raw

 

LITTLE FUCKING ITALY, the best place in america, or the world, where the streets were closed to the machines of the humans and so only the humans remained, free to take over the asphalt paths that we built and subsequently lost, and the glory of the clusterfuck and the pit of despair that is a seething mass of persons poured out like hot butter instantly congealed, and really so, so indescribably pleasant beneath the blue sky and the gold sun and the sights and the sounds and the heartbeat of the whole thing

 

an overly enthusiastic young man who was not of age to be in the bar with the drinks but found his way into the bar with the drinks and drank himself into a belligerent state, but as he was not capable of being belligerent, he was a petty antagonist and self-percieved victim, and then there was the placid bemusement of smoking a cigarette sitting on the planter wall watching a crowd of humans unite in their disdain for such terrible bullshit, but really handle themselves quite well until the young antagonistic victim made the mistake of taking his charade to the passerby, who was only attempting to make his way back to his overpriced apartment with overpriced groceries and paying the overly priced dollar amount of minding his own fucking business, and this kind man, this good samaritan, beneveolently gave us all the far underpriced entertainment of punching the young zealot out in one clean swoop, one concentrated 'FUCK YOU' - FROM US ALL. the young fool was sprawled out on the pavement, face down, just over the edge of the first stair. such kind folks in the urban jungle.

 

there's just something about the place in the day, in the afternoon, as it fades to evening, in an outdoor locale with drink and humans just beginning to congregate. (This place then, in my head now, is the backyard of Sweet & Vicious, an entirely different ordeal once the sun has set) There's something so raw about the whole place that it's unnerving, and being unnerved is what makes the place so wonderfully special, because the heave and flow forces you to settle into being unnerved as some sort of state of being, and then you're open to the whole warm mass of absurdity, and that's a beautiful thing. It's freeing.

 

RIGHT THEN

THE MOST I'VE EVER SPENT IN ONE GO AT LE BAR - BUT IT WAS THE BEST BAR

if there's a representative site photo of the away-ness of the place, THIS IT

clammy ft. sweat, the madness of a hot ny cave in july as we melt down into ourselves prior to hitting the streets in the late evening
AMONGST IT
YA DAMN RIGHT
HA mhans slaughter game not so hot 

OI FUCK, this here's the end of the night, the end of a night, the end of any night - nothing like la comida from a food truck and absolute assurance you will be hyrdated by the time the sun comes up

SOPHIES, what a spot. the classic dive. the motherfucking archetype. a place where you could be comfortable amongst the heaving sea of concrete and steel unfamiliarity. AND THEY GOT A JUKE BOX

IT'S ALL GOOD, EVEN WHEN IT AIN'T
specifically the above image is the state I find myself in during new york nights. i believe this sweaty scene was in the bathroom of the bar above berlin, with the girl who was 29 that invited me to share a time with her amongst the red lights, brick walls, and teeming shadows below.

AW SHIT
the fuck you doin if you ain't learnin some new shit?

a pleasantly ok gray day, a hot dog from the cart with onions sliding around and on down over to central park, a small jaunt through and around before we leave uptown....

AND BEFORE WE LEAVE TOWN

THE LAST NIGHT IN THE PLACE

IT'D BE SAD IF WE DIDN'T DO IT SO DAMN RIGHT

apotted on the walk home from the west end of things; novelty, no!?

 

AH FUCK you know this deserves a recon report out here

So we went online to the webinars and purchased tickets to the comedy cellar with only a very faint trace of an idea of what the fuck we were doin. I had seen the place on Louis CK's show and Rocco had told us that it was tight af so there you go. Nah, more importantly, we had done the damn thing every night so we were willing to buy into a change of pace. AND BY BUY I MEAN PURCHASE TWO ITEMS AT THE BAR OR CELLAR ITSELF TO COVER THE TICKET FUCK ME UP !! but honestly, sandwich or no (yes), what kind of asshole is going to go to a comedy show and not buy at least two drinks? 

 

So we were in the upstairs drawing with chalk on the tables having a beverage or three and then we were outside with a cigarette in the line around the corner in the alley and then we were downstairs in the darkness and intrigue of the place. It was all quite smooth really. After a pause in the entry the attractive hostess or whatever position she held proceeded to lead us to the farthest darkest corner of the room, the one on the southeast corner of the place, tucked back even with the back of the stage, neck craned staring tense over the very intimate couple seated immediately adjacent between your line of sight and the fine humans taking that stage - quite ideal!!!! But chu know, you make due with what you got.

 

BUT WAIT!

A very rare gift from cool - a reversal of the odds for all of the absurdity that we had successfully grooved through in those sweating thrashing streets, for all the shitty hands that we had laughed at and played anyway throughout the thing. The hostess/waitress/whatever the fuck she is comes back as the good man is opening the show and says to us deep sweaty tucked uncomfortably numb in the corner, "Hey do you guys want to move to a table in the front row? Because your seats were actually supposed to be there, so if you still want to move, it's open..." Hmmmmm... YA DAMN RIGHT

 

First of all, there aren't rows, but fockin right we were in the front one. This was my first comedy show, and it was in a beautiful, intimate dark and dingy setting in the front row with a sandwich and people bringing me drinks and a bunch of funny, witty, relentless motherfuckers leaning over the stage and skewering me with personally curated blades of jokes. It was fuckin delightful. A bunch of talented motherfuckers 3 feet in front me in a room that will throw you the fuck out if you pull out your cell phone to take a video. The only rule in the place is you can't be an asshole unless you're on the stage, and literally anything else goes. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. There was life in that place. Potent. I very rarely laugh that fucking hard. Feels good as - 



A EUPHORIC GLOW HANGING ABOUT YOUR HEAD WITH THE HYRDOCODONE COURSING THROUGHOUT THE VEINS AND A DISGUSTED LOVE BEATING STRONG DIRTY PURE IN YOUR HEART GETTING SWEATED OUT AS MANY ORIFACES AS THE ALCOHOL IS POURING IN (symbolically of course)

this is the town my dad was born in HA

SUMMERTIME STP HOW I MISS IT AS I TYPE THIS AND HOW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NEARLY HERE AGAIN

what can we say about the absinthe... either you put down a small bit and it's nothing or you put down the better part of a bottle and you're onto it

just fuck me up
this is probably the best investment i've made in quite a while along with those damn beavers and if there's a theme there it's very very simple: TANGIBLE GOODS ARE GOOD

a preying mantis hovering above ominously for the kill... could it be..? SYMBOLISM!?

QUEUE THE BIGGEST TRANSITION OF MY YOUNG LIFE THAT I'M STILL FIGURING THE FUCK OUT ALL THESE MONTHS LATER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~casually~
INTO THE BELLY OF THE BEAST EH
an exemplar of the b sides... the side lives... the unplanned resemblance of the ghost of the groove of the inbetween.....
hanging on to some warm notion of freedom and peace of mind
BUT IT'S COLD OUT HERE ALL STRANGE & ALONE
ALWAYS GOTTA STAY FUCKIN EM UP

HA rex all pumped the fuck up to be deep in the blue haze and he don't even know he's deep in the blue haze
same for cwiss pictured here skeptical as i know him generally to be about these things

A PRELIMINARY SIGN OF THINGS I'VE GONE DORMANY ON BUT FUCK I AIN'T GOTTA SPELL THE LINK OUT DO I: VESUVIUS TO COME (cc: dormany)
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just let this stand for Mindplay Vol.2 and the Blue Haze and all of that
i'm out here tryin....

FUCK IT AIN'T EASY THO

THESE IMAGES ARE LESS THAN ONE STANDARD DEVIATION FROM MY GENERAL FRAME OF MINE

 

up before the sun for all the wrong reasons

DOLLA DOLLA BILLS YALL

something real real nice shot down dead real real early - it's pretty though in an off way



ON LE JOB OUT HERE

 

i am at peace in this image


Y JO
from the day on the river in richmond followed by the long and winding night with the jazz band and the strange cast of characters that spontaneously appeared and took us back to their bizarre labyrinth of a warehouse / living space / recording studio for an absurd showing of things. a potent sweating wandering evening, from the studio to a drum circle to twisted hallways and sprawling rooms until I could no longer stand at the conclusion of it all. the lack of specifities doesn't do it justice but the vibe has been laid down, YEEHAW


OI the woodlands, look into their gaping jaws

this is a jolly friend of mine

A CLASSIC OF OUR TIMES

an exemplar of why the hell not and a sign of things to come
TANGIBLE

nothing more pure left in this world than the simple pleasure of the sea 


I KNOW ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US SIRI, BIG BRUNCH, NO WAFFLES, CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES, CHAMPAGNE

AH FUCK, the counterweight to the enjoyment of the moment at hand

 

DEEP IN THE WOODLANDS YA BETTER LOOK THE FUCK OUT FOR THE FOREST GUARDIAN AND THE TROLLS UNDER THE BRIDGE WITH THEIR RIDDLES AND INTRICATE COMPLEXITIES

and the forgotten places off the beaten path....

FOCKIN RIGHT i could live my life in a hot tub alone with proper quantities of rum though i believe hennesy was in the Hardee's cup here, CHEER

ahhhhhh yes the backwater goons on vacation, the lake haus, not a lake haus, the haus on le river, the poker, the bumper pool, the grill and the boat and the wakesurfing and all the other wonderful things 

HA yes, here we are, all smiles !! what is this shit now, some five and a half years now with these tres muskateerings? from the first year lounge where we experienced independence for the first time together and all those woodland walks to here in a luxury home with a boat and deeper stranger tides - OI YEAH BRING ON THE FUTURE

a sad psuedo japanese grill house in some gray town in north carolina on the long haul back north, just a moment in time potent in memory and mood

and a gray morning at home... the image is deceptively at ease when compared to the state of mind and turmoil in mood and emotion

a classic series of johnfowler57 maneuver

 

FUCK ME UP i just love this image, make it the title page of all of this shit, of the random forgotten moments that create potent moods and strange strands of memories floating around in the deep mind, of the life happenings and the lack of apologies and the b-sides and side lives, BUMMER DAZE SANS GLORY, COLD CONCEPTUALS 

a beautiful scene in a terrible situation, LIFE
yet another representative site photo
PROTECT YA NECK FUCK ME UP
help

late night snacks are the hallmark of a free nation

MMMMMMMM COTTON CANDY IN THE SKY

have you seen such a scene of beauty as below ? STANDARD SCENERY

VIVID DEPICTION OF THE LIFE I'M CURRENTLY LIVING
i love the pinks and purples afterwards, the descent of the blanket of night's deep blue to black darkness is quite nice too


HERE'S TO THE CHARITY CHILI COOK-OFF

a fine evening in a place close to home that feels so refreshingly far away in the warm breeze and cold rum
B-SIDES here to celebrate the standard scenery so often forgotten as the days go by because.... well, it's standard. BUT THAT DON'T MEAN IT AIN'T A THING OF BEAUTY, or at least interest
OUT CHEER

drown it out or go for a swim????? WHAT'RE WE DOIN OUT HERE???

honestly i'm shocked i captured this image, i'm pleased beyond reasonable measure, DO YOU FEEL THE AUTUMN IN IT?

damn, i dunno why i'm drinking this rosa red here, perhaps it was when i was just stumbling my way into wine, but i'm more of a bittersweet sauvignon blanc kinda guy these days, but regardless, i like the idea of the gritiness of a chinese dinner and a bottle of wine to myself, of course there's no glory in the moment, it's just how it is, but then isn't that breakdown of events how it all is in this strange series of movements we call life?

FUCK GETTIN MONEY IM PICKIN UP STICKS AHHHHHHH FUCK
i'm on this homestead and it's delightful and i better get off soon


THIS IS THE GOTDAMN BAY, not the ocean - this is on the tail end of Matthew with the pulse of the thing still powering in on the wind and the raw energy of the long swell meeting shallows and shore. VB GOT FLOODED THE FUCK OUT, and as we're still reeling on it (rip lightrail), i ask - what if we get hit by an actual hurricane?

cat in one hand, WHAT THE FUCK'S IN THE OTHER
THE MILLION BILLION MOTHAFUCKIN DOLLA PRICELESS QUESTION

- have you seen a nicer purple sunset?

LOOK AT THE CANDLES ON THIS MAN'S CAKE AND ASPIRE TOWARDS SUCH A SHOWING

what an underrated combo
SWEET N SALTY MY FRIENDS

 

HERE'S AN IMAGE OF ME VIEWING MY LIFE NOW

FUCK ME UP AND 

fuck me up, this one's just a blast to the past 
BUT LET'S GET ON WITH LE FUTURE














JOY AND MOTHAFUCKIN PROSPERITY
YEEHAW
















 

 

 


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